Saturday, May 15, 2010

perks of being 50 or older

1.
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.

2.
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3.
No one expects you to run  
any where.

4.
People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you? '

5.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7.
Things you buy now
won ' t wear out.

8.
You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9.
You can live without sex
but not your glasses..

10.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12.
You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13.
You sing along with elevator music.

14.
Your eyes won' t get much worse.

15.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the national weather service.

17.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can' t remember them either.

18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19.
You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone
you can remember, right now!

ONE MORE THING:
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!




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